#autistic Lottie Matthews

[holylottie]

Aching bones, aching teeth [02]

masterlist [and warnings!]

PAIRING — Lottie Matthews x afab!reader

CHAPTER SINOPSIS — 1996, you pass your last moments on your hometown before heading to nationals.

NOTE — english is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you might find. Please go read the tw's first! Thank you for reading :)

Chapter 02 — between letters and lies

1996

Charlotte Matthews was born on a cold morning, at exactly 9:46 a.m., and her cries were so loud that the patients six floors above knew that a new life had arrived.

And Charlotte's childhood continued in the same way as it began: with a lot of loud crying. She was always scolded a lot, which is why she hardly cried these days, but there were two people in the world she could rely on to dry her tears.

One of them was extremely close, her childhood best friend, while the other, her grandmother, was still enjoying her retirement: traveling all over the globe. Charlotte tried not to miss her so much (tried not to feel so angry) but it was almost impossible; her grandmother raised her, the only one who gave her affection - and the only one who accepted her after the anniversary tragedy.

Lottie's house was huge and freezing, extremely cold during the winters and with a relaxing breeze during the summers, as if several ghosts were blowing eternally through the walls. As a little girl, Charlotte swore she could hear them.

Today, the only sound in her house was of shells hitting each other, a wind chime that you and her made when the voices in Lottie's head were almost unbearable.

Charlotte went downstairs, looking for one of her parents, but all she saw was the piano in the living room, quiet as a child. 

Oh God, she's never seen a quiet child, she's never been one to begin with, maybe that's why she doesn't have any siblings —she sucked all the energy out of her parents before they could give her some company. 

The girl huffed, crossing her arms as she looked for Genevieve, the new housekeeper. She thought about what might happen if she found her, what she would really do if she saw her. Charlotte would like the presence of someone older and more affectionate, but that didn't mean that anyone older was going to be affectionate. 

She went upstairs again, back to her room and put on the first pair of boots she could find. 

Then she went out into the yard, picking up her old soccer ball and practicing shots with herself, trying to score goals between her mother's flower chairs.

The Aetos family home was near a park with a beautiful garden with a statue in the center, and the bench facing this view was your favorite place. Far enough away from your parents, but close enough for them not to complain.

You held a book in your lap, but could only stare at the water moving up and down the white marble sculpted arms.

It was a perfect sight, a comforting silence and a calm that could only be replicated when you were in the presence of your best friend. 

Your fingers clenched together, nervous, not that it was apparent, anyone who saw you from the outside would find a person as calm as the statue.

Your large, sad eyes were uncomfortable for your mother, and between humility or luxury, she seemed to see only the latter in your irises. More annoying than the eyeballs was the time you spent in the bathroom. Your parents hated your vanity.

Your yellow tights covered your scraped knees, burning from the fervent prayer you had said last night. You felt lost, begged the heavens so much to be heard, to be changed, but to no avail: you still had the same feelings —and blamed yourself greatly for them. 

Was a confession still valid if you lied about the real reasons behind her actions? you confessed seeking forgiveness, not to find other people to blame. 

You confessed, and spent more time practicing your dance routine until your toes hurt, spent more time sewing clothes without taking care with the needle; You tried everything to feel less guilty about your lack of guilt. 

You did like your mother, like the time she caught you reading The Well of Loneliness, and made you clean the whole house on your knees, begging forgiveness for yours and the writer's soul. You wondered if your mother really knew about the story, but you didn't dare question anything, your mother had certainly chastised you because she had heard what the book was about. 

Of all the literature you had ever studied, Russian literature was the one that had taken up the most space in your heart. The melancholy in every word was something no one else could replicate. At least, no one else you could read, as your Arabic was weak and minuscule.

The teacher had split the class into three and given them each a different Russian work. The group was divided into two and each member had to present their own opinion on the theme of the book —as well as doing the technical analysis that you loved so much.

And you got even angrier, you had read the book and loved analyzing it, what was wrong with doing it?

The theme of the book and Dostoevsky's damning phrases about self-opinion... A little ironic that you had got that part of the debate right.

You opened the book again, flicking through the pages as if the answers were going to leap out of the paper and straight into your head.

You loved old literature, knowing that someone, years ago, decades ago, held the same book and read the same words, made you feel as if you weren't alone in her world of thoughts —you were connected to everything and everyone at the same time, all the time.

However, the beauty of the author's words did not take away the sadness of their truthfulness, what hurt hurt, and only became art once it stopped burning.

You opened to any page, your eyes skimming over the paragraph marked in neon colors.

"We always think of eternity as an idea that cannot be understood, something immense. But why should it be? What if, instead of all that, you suddenly find just a little room in there, something like a village bath house, dirty, and spiders in every corner, and that's all eternity is."

That paragraph never left your mind. You had always wanted eternity, to leave a legacy, you wanted to be important, to be remembered, and thinking of eternity as a dirty little room began to drive you crazy. Did the infinitude of the soul really not matter that much? you weren't afraid of dying, but you were afraid of not having anyone to remember you.

Class passed by so painful slowly.

The biology teacher spoke about seaweed, about how they were everywhere — if there was light, there was seaweed. You looked at Lottie, on your side, imagining her engulfing you like the sea engulfed the land — if there was life, there was your love for Lottie.

You could drown in her love, — no, no, you wouldn’t drown —, you would willingly swallow more water than what you could take.

— Are you okay? — she turns around, asking with a pretty worried face.

How to tell all the complicated, sinful thoughts going through your mind? you never let yourself indulge in such desires —let alone recognize you had them. However, you knew it was clear: you wanted to keep being seen.

It took a lot of effort for you to talk, but you opened your mouth more, asked questions, broke the silence quite a few times… The team had given you a voice.

— What happened to Allie… It was truly scary — you decided to say, looking at the hand Lottie had put on the table, aching to be touched too — I never saw someone bleed so much.

It was a lie, but you never considered yourself much of a person to be upset about your bloody wounds; you bled paint, glitter pens, strawberry jam or a ribbon, nothing much human.

— Let’s think about something else, shall we? — Charlotte wanted to punch Taissa (more for giving bad thoughts to you than actually hurting Allie).

—y/n, there’s no one more blessed than you, — Laura Lee started to say, a smile so gentle on her face that the sun itself could burn — you truly are gifted, such as me, for having you.

You smiled too, enticed by the words of your childhood company. There was tension in the circle, with all the girls saying sweet (yet imposing) words to one another. 

— Laura, you are one of my best friends and I’m so glad God led me to you, you shine as bright as the sun — you loved Laura, you hoped Laura never realized how sinful you were.

You two both hugged a very tight embrace, going to another lady. You stepped in front of Shauna, tilting your head at the girl.

— Y/n, you have a… a very nice taste in clothes and phrases.

You giggled lowly, shaking your head.

— Should I be upset about your delay? — you two both laughed slightly, you blinked one eye — I really enjoy you, Shauna, I enjoy your big eyes and big words. 

She didn’t say anything back, and soon you were passing close to Natalie: — I don’t really have anything nice to say about you…

— Oh, fuck off! — she muttered back, smiling like a fool while going in Jackie's direction.

— Taissa, you are very pretty, and perhaps too witty for your own good. 

— Y/n, you are the second best on the team.

And you didn’t even get upset by it, rather the contrary, you immediately assumed Lottie was the first —and you were so happy to be so close to Lottie in Tai's view.

Finally, the time came, the lamb walked in the direction of the flames.

— Lottie! — your voice was like a surprised giggle, staring deeply into the girl’s — I know God exists because I looked you in the eyes.

— y/n… — she took a deep breath, lost in words, swallowing everything she truly wanted to say, but she smiled — if God exists, I wonder when he will bless me with your lips.

Of course, this wasn’t what she truly said. In fact, Lottie kept quiet. She gave one step ahead and hugged you tightly, whispering on your ear:

— God exists in your embrace.

Charlotte's house was not only large and full of rooms, but it was also full of space in the backyard —a plot big enough to have a vegetable garden and a pond you could bathe in. 

You weren't the biggest fan of pieces of water where you couldn't see the ground, so you loved being in the lake at Charlotte's house, where the water was almost crystal clear, showing the stones. You couldn't even think of what that pool of water must have cost Mr. and Mrs. Matthews.

Lottie was in the water, while you were sitting on the edge with your feet dangling and creating little ripples, you had leaves, twigs and flowers around, creating crowns of petals and plants. Charlotte stared at you curiously, wondering what you were thinking, although she knew that if she asked, the answer would be the same: "I'm not thinking about anything, dear Lottie, just feeling how much I love you and-"

Oh, right, that part wasn't really sincere, but Lottie liked to imagine you following the script that her own head was creating.

When Lottie thought of you, she didn't think of a love that warmed her all over, but a love that would cook her in an oven at 200 degrees and consume her entirely. 

She imagined you sitting at a beautiful table, waiting for her heart on a platter.

She imagined that you would accept the dish, that you would eat every morsel, saying promises of love —she imagined that you would accept her into your body in every way.

— Do you think the dinosaurs knew they were about to die? It makes me so sad to think that they might have just thought it was a miracle that such a shiny thing had come so close... — You pressed your lips together, stopping weaving the leaves to stare at the work in progress and pulling Charlotte out of her own head — I guess that's how it is with all warm and shiny things, one day they turn you to dust...

— Do you think it would have been different? If they'd known?

—  A lot of people only start to love once they know they may never love again, don't they?

— Well, that's Confucius' logic... But I don't know if I'd like to know that the end is so near, sometimes ignorance can be a gift.

— But it's still a lie.

— But it's going to end anyway, darling... What difference does a beautiful lie make? — Lottie stared at her best friend, she knew that nothing was more important to you than the truth, that's why everything was so painful and confusing for you.

Lottie realized that she had to be honest.

— Y/n, I need to tell you something, — she said, smiling nervously.

You looked at her curiously, stepping into the river to be closer to Lottie.

— I’m terrified of nationals. You need to come, I’ve asked the coach to put you on the regular.

You sighed slightly, thinking about how Allie couldn’t play any sooner.

— It’s a great opportunity for you, Lots… 

— I don't want it for me, I want it for us.

You stared at your best friend, a confused smile on your face, wondering how you should handle this situation.

— applepie, I need you to trust me on this... — Charlotte said, her voice serious, moving closer and wrapping her arms around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder — please. 

You turned your head, leaning it against Lottie's, your nose taking in the scent of your friend's hair cream. The water around you was cold, but your body was warm —your heart too.

— Okay... a test...

“My dearest, Charlotte

I must apologize, I am not a good person with words getting out of my mouth, but, hopefully, I will be able to make them worthy of writing in this letter.

I tell you how much I appreciate you, however, I must confess, it's surprising for me how unsure of it all you seem to be; I suppose our own light truly can make us blind.

I feel like those words weren't enough, so I hope I can make you believe it with this list.

— I love the way you look at me after I say something you disagree with; I love how you expect your eyes to say everything you can't; Most of it all, I love how they truly say it.

— I love how when you laugh (truly laughs) your eyes become very small; I love how your cheeks work as a happy measure, I know when a joke is funny when I can't see your eyes.

— I love how you tilt your head when you are trying to make people see your point of view.

— I love that when you frown, your lips are pressed together, like you are sending a kiss to those you disagree with. I suppose you are just so full of love that your body releases it without even wanting to.

— I love your smell; I can sense everytime you enter the room, it's there instantly and I look for it like a dog in an airport. I never cared that much about perfumes, from all the five senses, smell was the one I took for granted; however it is different now: I find myself taking deep breaths around you, so usually that everytime I see a pretty fantastic view on my walks, I end up lacking air.

— I love your hair; I love how your bangs are always so neatly trimmed and placed, like the wind isn't a bother to your lines; I love how you play with it when you are filled with concentration.

— I love your fingers and how they look for my hand;

— I love your skin; I love how you glow in the sun, like Apollo is making it shine just for you; Deeply, I bet he is, how could the almighty god of art not wish to perpetuate the beauty of the most beautiful creation in the mortal realm?

— I love your mind most of it all, how you think; I love how you stay dedicated to one single singer but listens to multiple songs of various people; I love how you speak your mind when you are comfortable enough; I love how your favorite shows are the ones you didn't even finished watching, there's something very pure of loving a thing you don't even know how it's going to end; I love how one of your favorite colors is grey but you only uses light tones; I love how your biggest dream is to work paleontology, how you wish to dive deep into the past and look for answers; I love how your favorite animal are dogs because you see them more (what is strange for me at first, how can you have as your favorite something so daily?; until I realized that what you love the most is to have company; I do not wish for you to prefer anything else.);

— I love dogs (now).”

You took a deep breath, putting the decorated letter inside Lottie’s locker and walked straight outside, ready to enter the bus and be taken to the airport; leaving the confession letter to your future self.

Leaving to the future.

[honeycrispjamz]

If me and my bestie were on that plane this is where we would of landed instead of the Canadian wilderness

[yourfavisasamefooder]

Leatherface/Bubba Sawyer from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal, and every member of the Wiskayok Yellowjackets team from Yellowjackets are samefooders! Their safe food is human meat!

Happy Halloween!

[sleeplessv0id]

Save me. My abusive aunt has started watching Yellowjackets. Only one of us can live, and it's ME.

Got my fucking eye twitching, like, why can YOU, the one who has been ruining my life for years now, leaving me with HEAVY trauma and so on, watch and enjoy one of MY comfort shows. The comfort show to comfort what YOU and your ANIMAL kids broke in me.

[abbysbunny]

masterlist🧺

💤- hazel callahan . . .

jealous girl

hand obsessed!reader

hazel x autistic!reader

loser!hazel hc's

hazel x goth!reader

feelings aren't fake

birds don't sing

bbf!hazel

nsfw loser!hazel thoughts

video games

💌-ellie williams . . .

loser!ellie hc's

modern!ellie hc's

more modern!ellie hc's

hey sweetheart

short ellie hc's

spiderman!ellie hc's

slytherin!ellie hc's

streamer!ellie x streamer!reader

🦢-abby anderson . . .

push me down

moodboard

abby x coquette!reader

abby who hates rainy days

🎀-joel miller . . .

joel and his sleepy girl

joel x clingy!sensitive!reader

summer bummer

🕯️- lottie matthews . . .

smiley!lottie hc's

vampire!lottie hc's

bsfs to lovers

zoo date

modern!lott hc's

🌑-natalie scartoccio . . .

photo booth with nat

jealous!nat hc's

bsf nat taking your virginity

perfect girl

gf!nat hc's

modern!nat hc's

🌟-lottienat . . .

eeping with lottienat

🪷-jackie taylor . . .

post crash!jackie hc's

🌼-shauna shipman . . .

loser!shauna

gf!shauna hc's

🧸-arthur morgan . . .

arthur helping you draw

arthur falling in love with you

🎾-tashi duncan . . .

dating tashi duncan hc's

💌-art donaldson . . .

sunshine!reader x art donaldson

💫-tashi and art . . .

being tashi and art's sugar baby

🍒-rafe cameron

deer!reader and rafe hc's

bf!rafe hc's

🦴-leon kennedy . . .

leon x virgin!reader

🌺-nanami kento . . .

husband nanami kento hc's

[lotties-ashwagandha]

BEING STUCK IN A SNOWSTORM WITH THE YELLOWJACKETS (headcanons)

bc currently my town is being decimated by a winter storm and it gave me inspiration . also we aren’t talking about how half of yellowjackets is set in the snow it’s when they’re teens smh this is adult timeline

SHAUNA

gets grumpy bc one of you is going to have to shovel the driveway and it’ll probably end up being her

apart from that she loves the snow

she’ll take a bunch of pictures of it to post on facebook in an unhinged uncaptioned photo dump

she’ll make the two of you an unhealthy amount of coffee or hot chocolate or tea whatever you’re feeling , you’ll develop an addiction to it with the amount she’s giving you . but “you have to stay warm” in her opinion , and also it makes her feel all aesthetic pinterest girl

she’s one of those people that has a collection of heavy knitted blankets that are worth like $500 each and she puts them to use ‼️‼️‼️ you’ll be BURIED in comfort she will make sure of that . no one gets cold in this house

also when it starts to really hardcore snow she’ll just go outside and stand there and watch. you know that tiktok of the woman making fun of american southerners who get a tornado warning and go stand out to see the tornado? that’s shauna with the blizzard

LOTTIE

you have to literally beg her not to go fucking “give the wilderness blood” bc girl sees one snowflake and is like omg il veut du sang

that being said lottie matthews is at heart a rich girl with 10,000 pinterest followers and when it snows , sunshine honey wellness center becomes a place of AESTHETICS

im talking the two of you will be laying in bed with heavy blankets and a record will be playing and lottie will have 3 or 4 candles lit

the two of you reading classic novels in bed <3

she sees heavy winters as very spiritual. a time to recharge and reset and be calm. she’ll coerce you into doing a couple of guided meditations with her that are themed on spiritual guidance and recharge

when you lose power tho she has a complete meltdown. not that she uses electronics much but when she realizes the stove doesn’t work and that the blender for her smoothies won’t work things go downhill so fast. you have to hook up the generator just so she can make a smoothie for her anxiety that came because she couldn’t make smoothies. girl is a mess

TAISSA

you’ll be taking care of her all week because she gets sick every winter without fail

doesn’t matter if she got a flu shot, covid shot, you name it . first snowflake comes down and she’s off to the doctor

but it gives you an excuse to sort of hold her hostage at home and cuddle with her and watch movies you’ve been meaning to watch together but haven’t since she’s been busy with the campaign

she actually gets kind of excited in the snow storm if the power goes out because it feels like camping. she will get frustrated with no TV tho , but if sammy’s there with the two of you she’ll go all non deadbeat dad for once and the two of you will make a blanket fort with him and all the other shit kids like to do

will try to order you guys a pizza and then get confused when the pizza place doesn’t answer. you have to remind her there’s no power before she goes on a tangent about stores having weird hours and how everyone’s so lazy

VAN

will NOT go out to shovel snow. you’re going to be doing that thanks she’ll be re sorting her movie collection to find some good blizzard themed movies for the two of you to watch

she’ll also go all autistic about the history of snowstorms and you’ll come back in from shoveling and get a lecture about some random snowstorm in some country you’ve never heard of from fucking 500 BC.

her house has a shitty heating system so you spend most of the time under blankets together but that’s not such a bad thing <3

she makes you watch her favorite winter movies, and if the power goes out and you can’t then the two of you will spend the night playing drinking games or playing cards or something like that

she won’t outright tell you to wear her jackets but she loves when you get cold and grab one of her sweatshirts/jackets to wear. she also does that 2000s movie boyfriend thing where you get cold and she’s like oh here take my jacket and while it’s so cliche it’s cute when she does it

NATALIE

tbh girl probably learned abt the snow storm bc she woke up covered in snow somewhere and was like oh it’s snowing huh

but anyway

she’d probably spend the duration of the snowstorm at your place because can you imagine staying out a blizzard in a motel??? no thanks

she’ll raid your booze and you’ll get drunk together by the fire. she might have some weed on her too if you’re lucky

you’ll listen to music together, she has better taste but she will still listen to your music, you take turns playing each other different songs you think remind you of each other

she WILL throw balls of ice at any kids that walk by. you will be having a lot of angry parents at your door the next day.

MISTY

is lowkey a prepper so she doesn’t care that much if there’s a snow storm. if the power goes out she can think of 50 different ways to get it back on

she loves to watch it snow out the window and show caligula

she’s definitely the one you want to spend a blizzard with

she absolutely will not let you leave the house until you’re wearing 20 layers of clothes

she’ll try to write poetry about the snow storm but it just sounds like a daunting ancient prophecy. when she shows you tho you obviously say it’s amazing and you love it because she worked so hard on it

[giirlblood]

U^ｪ^U  lottie matthews agere headcanons !

link to all yellowjackets agere headcanons ^__^

nat will be referred to here with he/him prns .

a lot are self indulgent/projection bc eye am literally lottie in da flesh please be kind :<

cw(?) — a lot of my lottie headcanons revolve around vent regression . have some happy ones too but please be nice a lot of them revolve around my personal memories

i think adult!lottie is more of a caregiver than a regressor but teen!lottie is just a baby . :( <3

lottie is typically a baby/toddler regressor && a deer/puppy regressor ! her regression is involuntary && she primarily vent regresses . at first she tries to pretend to be big but she always ends up a teeny mess . lottie has been regressing since she was a child though she didn't know that was what she was doing until she was older .

lottie is the person who introduced regression to the team though it was entirely an accident . after an injury on the soccer field lottie slipped which while initially confusing the other yellowjackets ended up introducing many of them to a coping mechanism they would start to employ or that they took part in already without realizing it .

lottie's regression before the team found out about it was mostly a negative experience — she spent most of her time regressed crying or dissociated . things have gotten better since then but it is still usually a difficult experience for her .

lottie is typically nonverbal while regressed though if she's able to speak it is typically with one word sentences . she can get overwhelmed often when she wants to say something but physically can't . if words are too hard she gets frustrated && will cry . to help her feel less frustrated laura made her puppy themed communication cards !

lottie typically does not display her emotions but when she's regressed she finds it easier to display her negative emotions . she is no stranger to tantrums && typically only laura lee && nat know how to calm her down . lottie is autistic && often has meltdowns or shuts down when she is overstimulated or if she touches a bad texture or hears a bad sound .

baby deer — head butts to communicate && shakes her head a lot to stim with her "antlers". also a pup — loves head pats/scratches && pets . curious little pup — when she's in a better mood she loves to follow others around . loves to bark && nuzzle . she paws at people to get their attention && cocks her head a lot when curious or confused .

lottie was a bedwetter even before the crash . typically a nanny would take care of it but when her parents found out about it she would be punished . padded regressor which while lottie knows is for the better she feels guilty && ashamed about . she doesn't like that people know about it but she had trouble hiding it — laura especially is so sweet and patient && understanding about it . she always knows how to cheer lottie up if she has an accident && gives her extra cuddles . lottie has trouble communicating but laura always can tell when she needs help — she usually becomes extra clingy or even shyer than usual .

being called "charlotte" is a trigger for her especially when regressed . it reminds her of her father && the hospital . she often has flashbacks while regressed && laura helps her to ground herself && calm down . she always reminds lottie that it's okay to feel her feelings && to be upset .

have thoughts about after laura but too hard for me to think about at the moment ( flashbacks . :< ) so Nothing Happened because laura live forever . .. !! ! !

lottie being so infatuated with bigger regressors like mari && wanting to play sooo bad . she's too little to play properly but she loves watching && will always clap when mari wins at games or pulls a good prank . she always tries to copy mari because she looks up to her when regressed (oh how the turntables have turned) && mari pretends to be annoyed but really she loves it .

lottie typically puppy!regresses when she's in a better headspace . she can be super playful && likes to "fetch" things for her friends to be helpful . lottie loves sitting at people's feet when she's in puppy mode . she likes to bite affectionately or if she's feeling a big emotion but she needs a lot of reminders from nat not to bite too much or too hard . " ah ah , silly puppy , we don't want to hurt our friends .."

bonded with nat over having crap dads — it helps both of them when lottie regresses because it comforts nat to know he's making a difference with lot && she feels especially safe with him because he understands . lottie loves when nat puts on music or sings to her ! sometimes she's too small to understand the words but it makes both of them happy .

[apartfromgod]

got any precrash autistic lottie hcs? 👀👀

i sure do !!

precrash autistic!lottie hc's

canon nonverbal lottie, my beloved.

get's overwhelmed after a soccer game when they win. everyone shouting, and running up and touching her? it's basically hell. as soon as she's back in the locker room, she's sat in the shower, and self soothing.

lottie who has noticeable stims !! bouncing on her tiptoes, rocking when she's sat down. flapping her hands, and scrunching her nose whenever she's excited. humming to herself constantly.

headbutting as a stim. just leaning down, and nuzzling someone's arm for a second, before straightening back up and not mentioning it.

seeking out shauna whenever she's nonverbal. ( butcherqueen ily ) shauna who'll say nothing, and just write in her journal while keeping her company. eventually she'll edge her foot closer to shauna's, to let her know she's okay.

lottie who paints the teams faces for pep rallies as a way to be in contact w/ them.

lottie who comes across as a bitch because she missed a social cue !! her just stood like 🧍🏼 while the teams laughing because they took something serious as a joke. ( think danny mears comment in wilderness. )

lottie who's very texture sensitive. has the softest clothes known to man. ( thank you, mr matthews. )

[jaxieshauna]

ᕱ⑅ᕱ jax 's burrow !!

masterlist

hello ^__^ . critter of many names ... call me jax , cate / cait , or jaxie . (please note that name preferences change — please shift if asked to .)

autistic losergirl #1 yellowjackets fan EVR

i am largely pronoun && gender apathetic — any pronouns are fine though i do prefer he/she (used interchangeably) . if you'd prefer to only use one set then please default to he/him unless given permission to use another set . i am a (butch) lesbian ! masculine terms are preferred but i am not a man !

person with a cdd — bodily 19 . jackie taylor , lottie matthews , alicent hightower , ellie williams in the flesh (srs) . ask 4 others if you wish . helaena targaryan 's sibling && abby anderson 's butch . disordered && coping , be kind .

primary special interest is yellowjackets . big into most yellowjackets ships but namely jackieshauna , taivan , lottielee , && lottienat . that one freak that doesn't play when it comes to the jv yellowjackets . overall massive (doomed toxic) yuri enthusiast ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ . extremely rhaenicent pilled . #1 butch!rhaenyra truther && #1 alicel plagued by tragic thoughts of the greens... brainworms... i do not play into "teams" — rhaenyra is the rightful heir to the throne but i am into hotd for the tragic doomed yuri && the sickening familial relationships of the greens .

i will refer to characters with other pronouns than canon , i do not care what you think do not correct me . block if it bothers you .

travis/travnat is an extreme discomfort so keep that in mind . no set dni i'll just block .

tags ! —

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — jax jabbers : text posts , general rambles / thoughts

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — burrow visitors : asks

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — bunny buddies : mooties <3

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — collecting clovers : reblogs

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — true forms : literally mes

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — helly :3 : helaena targ tag

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — my girl <3 : abby anderson tag

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — lezzing out : general f/o tag

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — brainworms : spin related o.o

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — jax jots : writing

ᕱ⑅ᕱ — jax's moodboards : probably will rename but moodboards tehe

ps : i do have another blog on here so if this information , typing style , etc sounds familiar that's likely why ^__^ .

[holylottie]

aching bones, aching teeth [masterlist]

PAIRING — Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

SINOPSIS — The lamuring lady, the sacrificial lamb, and you, the person who was in the newspaper, in large letters claiming to tell your story through art.

You are one of the members of the yellowjackets team, the number twenty three.

However, most people knew you like the girl who followed Lottie Matthews around like a lamb following a sacrifice.

She was your blessing and your sin.

You knew Lottie Matthews would be your downfall — but first, she would make you rise.

NOTE — english is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you might find. Please read the tw's first! Thank you for reading :)

TW's — animal death, cannibalism, death, homophobia, ptsd, sacrificial stuff, self harm, substance abuse, trauma, violence... so you know, normal yellowjackets things.

Chapter 01 — no spotlight shine as bright as her | It's 2021, you try to take a grip of your life just like Lottie the past has taken a grip on your heart.

Chapter 02 — between letters and lies | 1996, you pass your last moments on your hometown before heading to nationals.

Chapter 03 — as his son's | In 1996, they looked to you for answers that you pretended to know. In 2021, they looked to you for answers you didn't have.

Chapter 04 — the trees singing | The other girls went to a journey that Lottie didn't want to go (the other girls went to a journey you couldn't follow).

Chapter 05 — XXI The world | A reunion ball takes place on your old school. A reunion of memories burn your mind.

Chapter 06 — teeth teeth teeth | Lottie always gets more than she can have.

Trailer — TikTok — Wattpad

[bloodhivelottie]

“you know some animals live off their own vomit?”

“ok, thanks for that image, lot”

yeah autistic lottie matthews is so real i just know she was really into learning about animals!!!!! thematically imagine she was fixated on deer lol

and if we’re getting deep maybe she preferred animals to people at least when she was younger cause she felt so isolated from her family☹️ love u lawtie

[bloomingfromashes]

welcome!

about me !

ash | 16 | autistic

what i will post !

my writing ( fanfics & smau’s ) ( i will soon make writing request rules, right now i’m just working on my own things 🥸 )

my art ( fan-art and hopefully soon if i get out of this multiple year long art block… ! )

posters/canva projects ( like here )

reblogs of my fav fics & art ( but most reblogs will be on my other account @reblogforeblogsake )

likes !

my hero academia (current hyperfixation )

fav characters : ochako uraraka, himiko toga, izuku midoriya, shoto todoroki, katsuki bakugou, mina ashido, touya todoroki, keigo takami, shota aizawa, hizashi yamada ( but honestly everyone )

fav ships : togachako, bakudeku, erasermic

yellowjackets

fav characters : lottie matthews, laura lee, shauna shipman

fav ships : lottielee, jackieshauna

the disastrous life of saiki k ( never gonna give it up… never gonna let you down…🤓 ) ( sorry. don’t hate me. )

fav characters : kusuo saiki, shun kaidou, riki nendou, kineshi hairo, kokomi teruhashi ( basically everybody !!!! )

superstore & b99 : fav sitcoms, especially superstore at the moment

music : … i just love music 😵‍💫

avatar the last airbender : what can i say! it’s the best thing ever made 🤷

horror movies & horror media : i don’t watch enough movies, i’m trying to watch more!! but i’m obsessed with the dead meat youtube channel and the kill count !!

the amazing world of gumball : actually never letting this go. i love it okay. it’s so funny.

the sims 4 : i haven’t played in so long cause of my shit computer 😔 but hopefully i can again soon! i miss CAS…

don’t likes / dni’s !

racist, homophobes, transphobes, ableism, bullying, pro/dark shippers, accounts that promote ED’s and SH, prominently NSFW accounts ( suggestive is fine, but if you only post nsfw and not safe for minors content it would be best to not to follow me as i am a minor )

i hope you’ll enjoy my blog and all my creations !!

[peach-and-bugs]

Ask Box Headcanons and Blurbs

my account is always open for short, one-off headcanon requests for any character on my master list. But here is where I'm storing links to all of my headcanons on Tumblr!

Marvel 

Agatha Harkness

giving Kathryn Hahn characters big threes

Passing Notes Headcanons

Layla El-Faouly/Scarlet Scarab

cuddly Layla

Parks and Rec

Jennifer Barkley

General Jen Headcanons

Yellowjackets

Whole Yellowjackets Team

What would the Yellowjackets study and major in college (no crash)

Yellowjackets as parents/with kids

Yellowjackets Favorite Taylor Swift Albums & Songs

Yellowjackets & their pronouns

Yellowjackets with Pets (Lottie, Natalie, Shauna & Van)

What instruments would the Yellowjackets play?

Yellowjackets looking after reader after top surgery (modern au)

Jackie Tayler (1996)

Dating Jackie pre & post crash

Laura Lee (1996)

Lottie Mattews (1996/2021)

Jealouse Lottie

cuddling Lottie

taking care of Lottie (1996) after a soccer game

Lottie (2021) finding out her partner's pregnant (NSFW)

Lottie (1996 & 2021) Helping her girlfriend during a panic attack

Lottie with a partner that's always playing with her hair

Lottie (1996) caring for her girlfriend after wisdom teeth removal

Lottie (2021) with a forgetful girlfriend

Lottie trying to tease her partner (NSFW)

Lottie and movies - pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - pt 4

Lottie trying to get intimate with her partner (NSFW, 18+)

Lottie when she's in a fight with her partner

Older sister Lottie (1996)

Lottie confesses her feelings (1996 & 2021)

Misty Quigley (1996/2021)

Misty with a clumsy partner

jealous Misty

Misty getting taken care of

Misty and movies

Misty with a partner who's always taking her clothes

"Nat" Natalie Scatorccio (1996/2021)

A relationship with Natalie Scatorccio (1996 & 2021)

Shauna Sadecki (1996/2021)

Taissa Turner (1996/2021)

"Van" Vanessa Palmer (1996/2021)

Van (2021) realizing she's in love with you

Van (1996 & 2021) helping her girlfriend during a panic attack

A relationship with Van Palmer (1996 & 2021)

Van when she's in a fight with her partner - pt 2

Van is autistic

Dating Van in college

Bean Sprout Questions

Random Mama!Lottie Headcanons

Lottie gentle parenting & mom names

1996 & Bean Sprout

Lottie talking about 1996 w/ her wife

Lottie's schizophrenia

babywearing Lottie

granola mom Lottie

Lottie dressing Baby Matthews - Pt 1 & Pt 2

Lottie's hair

Misty's Role & Godparents

Baby Yoga

Travis

Lottie & boobs (Pregnant partner, NSFW 18+)

More of Lottie with her pregnant s/o

JackieShauna

JackieShauna & TaiVan raising kids

TaiVan

Taissa & Van comfort their partner on their period

JackieShauna & TaiVan raising kids

MistyNat

Poly relationship with Misty (2021) & Natalie (2021)

Misty (2021) & Natalie (2021) with an easily startled partner

Misty and Natalie with a cuddly partner

MistyLot

Lottie (2021) and Misty (2021) fighting over the same girl

Misty & Lottie find out someone likes their girlfriend

Why I love MistyLot and why it should be canon

LottieNat

Lottie (2021) & Natalie (2021) comfort their partner when they've got period cramps

[abbysbunny]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚masterlist˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

: ̗̀➛hazel callahan

new student

new student pt.2

jealous girl

hazel x hand obsessed!reader

hazel x autistic!reader

connected

connected pt.2

cry

losergf!hazel hc's

hazel x goth!reader

feelings aren't fake

random hazel hc's

taking care of a cat with hazel hc's

cheerleader!reader x hazel

hazel x autistic!reader

video games

loser!hazel thoughts

series

birds don't sing

0.1 birds don't sing

0.2 lover's rock

0.3 her and her friend

0.4 hate yourself

0.5 the blonde

: ̗̀➛ellie williams

why not me

why not me pt.2

loser!ellie hc's

balloon brabble

cold hands brabble

modern!ellie hcs

night shift

lying

lying pt.2

random modern!ellie hc's

hey sweetheart

slytherin!ellie hc's

spiderman!ellie hc's

: ̗̀➛vi

drawing pt.1

drawing pt.2

affection

: ̗̀➛abby anderson

balloon brabble

ice tea

lifeguard!abby

emotions

mean!abby drabble

push me down

rainy day

abby x coquette reader

: ̗̀➛dina woodward

balloon brabble

: ̗̀➛mizu

modern!mizu hc's

barista drabble

: ̗̀➛natalie scatorccio

gf!nat hc's

spider!nat series moodboard

modern!nat

eeping with lottienat

more lottienat!!

baking with nat

taking care of sick and injured nat:(

photobooth with nat !

polaroid drabble

bsf!nat taking your virginity

more nat:3

tragic girl

perfect girl

vampire!nat

: ̗̀➛chloe price

vampire!chloe

: ̗̀➛lottie matthews

smiley!lott hc's

modern!lott

eeping with lottienat

more lottienat!!

painting lottie's nails !

zoo date

vampire!lott hc's

: ̗̀➛shauna shipman

gf!shauna hc's

loser!shauna

: ̗̀➛jackie taylor

post rescue hc's

[lotties-ashwagandha]

yellowjackets masterlist!

❈ = fluff,,,, ★ = angst

lottie matthews x reader

our own kings and gods (nsfw) ★❈

remedy ❈

new arrivals ❈ ★ part 2 (nsfw)

paper cut ❈

color of jealousy ❈

melodic hum of the universe ❈

terrors of winter, gone ❈ ★

painted in pink and gold ❈

in myth, you are mine ❈ ★

nothing left to give ❈ ★

polaroids ❈

high priestess ❈

christmas cookies ❈

rapture (nsfw)

salvation (nsfw)

il veut du sang (nsfw)

dreams (nsfw, kinktober)

give it what it wants (nsfw)

worth it (vampire lottie) (nsfw)

yuletide reflections (nsfw)

bound (nsfw, kinktober)

random blurb?? (nsfw)

lottie with a partner who celebrates midsummer (headcanons) ❈

lottie with an autistic partner (headcanons) ❈

shauna sadecki x reader

when the world becomes small ❈

getaway

van palmer x reader

love’s embrace ❈

natalie x reader

mystery brownies ❈

tai x van

lottie x nat

POLY FICS:

lottie x van x reader

abundance ❈

lottie x nat x reader

Ivy set aflame (nsfw)

stoner santa

being in a throuple w lottie and nat would include… (headcanon) ❈

shauna x nat x reader

babysitting bruce ❈

tai x van x reader

pretty when you cry ★ part 2 ★

christmas tree waltz ❈

what’s fair (nsfw)

misty x nat x lottie x reader

caligula’s dreamhouse ❈

flames of frozen fire (nsfw)

headcanons for all characters:

the yellowjackets as pet owners

getting high with the yellowjackets

how they would take care of you while youre sick

yellowjackets + summer themed dates

yellowjackets + halloween

being stuck in a snowstorm with the yellowjackets

christmas with the yellowjackets

[giirlblood]

U^ｪ^U  pinned !

yellowjackets agere masterlist what am i currently working on ?

hellow !  retheming my blog since leah ( old main on this blog ) does not front much anymore && wanted to make a new pinned !  not sure how active i will be but ^__^ .

you can call me / us lottie or bidziil .  i am a trans butch lesbian && use he and she pronouns as well as neos !  irl lottie matthews , jackie taylor && alicent hightower >__< .  ( also others , ask if you wish ! )  i am 19 bodily !  i am disordered && this will impact interactions .  i do not want to disclose everything but i am a person with a dissociative disorder ( udd ) && alters so please be mindful of this .  i am also psychotic && do struggle occasionally with character related delusions though i will not discuss them .  

i am also autistic and crazy — number one yellowjacker ever ^__^ !  my main special interest is yellowjackets ( i try not to be too insufferable :( ) and i love to spew my thoughts && relate everything to it . .  huge doomed && toxic yuri enthusiast .  biggest jv yellowjackets lover && defender .  autistic about ( almost ) every yellowjackets ship but especially over jackieshauna , taivan , lottielee && lottienat .  would prefer not to interact with travis / travnat enjoyers too much for personal comfort .

i refer to many of the yellowjackets with pronouns other than she her .  please do not correct me i may or may not be insane .